“Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1

The oncologist asked if we wanted to know the preliminary results when they performed the biopsy. We thought about it, but really what good is it to know what it ‘could be’? We’ve already had so many ups and downs within the past week we just wanted to know ‘what it is’. So our answer was “No”.

Unfortunatly no one shared this with the orthopedic doctor. He came in and went straight to the point. It’s a ‘blue cell tumor’ but we’re not sure what family it belongs to. I believe it’s…EWING CARCINOMA. Once again I was speechless. For 8 years I spent most of my time across the room from doctors responding with ease and presenting with confidence. Now I sat across the room from my sleeping baby girl and her medical professional completely at a loss for words. I cried and tried to make sense of what he was saying. Honestly I only heard a portion of what he said but I could tell it wasn’t good. The NP had tissues for me and I looked up and randomly asked…”Are you sure?”

His response…”Yes.” Me, “Could the results come back different.” Doctor, “Doubtful.”

Me, “But there’s still HOPE.”

He just looked at me, I’m assuming he thought I was in denial. It wasn’t a question but a statement. I truly believe that despite the wisdom bestowed on the medical community there is only one GREAT PHYSICIAN. He is the only one that I trust and until He gives the final diagnosis…there is still hope.

The doctor told us we would hear the results from the biopsy early next week. Those 7 days felt like an eternity, yet God created the heavens and the earth in that same time frame. Looking back I realize he was busy at work in ours. Early Sunday morning on our way to church Caitlyn was singing ‘There is power in the name of Jesus’. She kept repeating it and soon I joined in. My spirit rejoiced that even she knew (though maybe not intentionally) where the power lay! This was the first week Caitlyn was able to go back to school and she was ecstatic about seeing her friends, even if she was wheelchair bound. Every morning she woke up with a smile! Mid week Mrs. Felder told me Caitlyn was tired during rotations and her reading partner was upset she didn’t have anyone to read to. Caitlyn looked at her and said, “You can do it, Jesus lives in your heart.” Those simple words touched Mrs. Felder’s heart so much it made her cry.

On Tuesday morning I finished Day 16 ‘Praying Extraordiarily’and was stuck on “At times, we get distracted by all that is going on in our lives personally and we can’t see the bigger picture of what God is up to.”

“Doubt is putting your circumstances between you and God. Faith is putting God’s promises between you and your circumstance.” ~Mark Batterson

On the way to school we were praying, as we do every day, when I heard one of the most powerful prayers I’ve heard Caitlyn say. Usually it’s quiet and repetitive but today it was bold. She thanked God for all his blessings and for being a ‘Good Good Father’ because that is who He is. She prayed that God would be with the ‘children that are hurting at the hospital and their mommy and daddy’s’. She asked God to heal her leg. I felt chills! Then immediately after the AMEN she asked me a question I will NEVER forget.

“Mommy, how come I haven’t felt God’s touch?” 

I had to ask again because surely I didn’t hear her right…God’s touch? She repeated it exactly! I’m sure in the past we’ve prayed for God’s healing touch but I never imagined her to pick up on that. I immediately panicked. How do I answer this? All I could muster up was that we don’t have to feel his physical touch to know He is healing. But before I could say another word Beckham chipped in…

Caitlyn, Jesus healed the blind man. He spoke and healed the 10 lepers, but only 1 came back to Thank him (I love he added that part). If he healed them he can heal you!

Caitlyn said “Oh yeah.”

That was all she needed…scriptural words from a child! Tears were falling like a waterfall and all I could do was Thank God! Thank Him for allowing my 6 year old son to preach his Word. Thank Him that despite the situation we were in this was a small reminder that their spiritual faith and growth was far more important than physical healing. Thank Him that he allowed us to experience His love that day like never before.

After I dropped Beckham and Cailtyn off at school I headed to drop off Brooklyn at Mother’s Day Out. I spoke with Mrs. Yevonne and was on my way out the door when our MDO director, Keri Montgomery, stopped me to share a song that was on her heart that morning when she was praying for Caitlyn. The hymnal was ‘Jesus paid it all’ and the verse that stuck in her head was…

“Lord, now indeed I find. Thy power and Thine alone. Can change the leper’s spots and melt the heart of stone.”

She spoke about the mention of lepers and that leprosy was the ‘cancer’ of that time yet He could change the lepers spots. Lepers again? Beckham just spoke of the 10 that were healed and now this. I knew it was not a coincidence but confirmation that there is ‘power in the name of Jesus’.