Our world today places little value on words. We say what others want to hear without any intention to fulfill it. We lie, cheat, and steal without any fear of repercussion. Yet, the one constant that has never changed is…a promise is a promise. Once it’s broken the damage is done and trust is lost. 

Why do we doubt people, question motives, and fear the worst? Is it because we’re jaded and pessimistic. No. I’m the complete opposite I look through rose colored glasses. I believe if you say you will do it, you will. Yet even I know majority of people, myself included, will break a promise or two in our lifetime. How can we possibly expect anyone to live up to such high expectations? Despite our apprehension we want truth and faithfulness to prevail. We love our Father and desire to ‘trust’ his every word; yet our human nature will always cause doubt! We must hold fast to His word…

Over 2 years ago, I struggled with this scripture. My mom had fallen after Beckham and Karson’s soccer game and she began having severe headaches. She was currently in remission from breast cancer and the last place she wanted to go was to the doctor. Yet the pain was getting worse. One morning, I was finishing my morning devotional, ‘When I’m on my knees,’ over Loss and my heart was heavy. I couldn’t shake it. Soon after, my sister called to say mom was not doing well and I really needed to come talk to her. She didn’t know what to do. I hung up to get ready. My babies were still asleep and I was in the guest bathroom straightening my hair when I started to cry. I began wondering if I had pictures of my babies with Mimi! Did I have pictures with her? Then I was angry. I started yelling at God…I literally said out loud. ‘You promised her a mansion with lots of rooms!’ It sounded superficial, I realize that now. Something serious was wrong and all I could think about was ‘Where’s her mansion?’ Yet those words came spilling out. But it was something she would say ALL the time. She wanted a big house, not for herself, but so all kids (friends and family) could come and hang out and experience the love of Christ! She ministered to everyone young and old alike and wanted a place they could gather. She would tell me God promised her a mansion! Now here I was wanting him to pay up! 

Just as if you were there speaking to me I heard His voice….’I never promised it would be here.’ I fell against the wall and crumbled, crying uncontrollably. 

I knew…he was faithful. 

I knew….she would have her mansion. 

I knew…she would be going home. 

That day she agreed to go to the emergency room. You see she never made any decisions without going to God first. She knew…it was time. That day her oncologist came in and said her breast cancer had metastasized to her brain. My best friend and spiritual mentor only had ‘maybe a year to live.’ HEARTBREAK is too soft a word. I felt like my world was collapsing. My HOPE wasn’t in doctors or medicine but the word of God. I had been fasting and praying since January 1st for what was meant to be 21 days but each week God would put it on my heart to continue my fast. I felt His presence every waking moment the months leading up to this day and the days following. My devotional became God’s personal love letter to me. I saw HEALING not through chemo, she became too sick to even make it to her second dose, but through His touch. The night before she went back to the hospital I told her how many people had loved her and how she couldn’t even imagine the impact she had made on lives. She just smiled and shared how when she was really young, she remembered this older lady she had grown close to who had shown her so much undeserved love and attention. She had never felt that kind of love (not even from her own family) and she desired it. She realized it only came from God and had asked him to give her that kind of love, without judgement or conditions. That was all she wanted. Over the years, pain and heartache had caused such animosity that the love was slipping away. While she was at the hospital the bitterness and anger that had gripped her heart gave way and love and peace remained. 2 weeks from the date she was diagnosed she passed away. Was their pain left behind…immense pain, yet JOY in the fact that she would receive God’s promise. No more suffering, no more pain. Residing in her mansion above. Oh, how our God is faithful!