From the outside we’re your typical family. Husband, wife, and 3 kids. We live in a quiet cul-da-sac with 2 dogs and a cat. 

As first glance we fit the traditional home. My husband, Barry, has worked as an automotive technician for over 10 years. Pregnant with our first child I decided to step away from the corporate world and focus on raising a family and tending to the house. Then not long after our family grew plus 2. Pretty stereotypical right?!?

Then you delve deeper and our story comes alive.

I was working in Dallas when I met Barry. He was a cousin of a family friend and I was home for the weekend. Who would have thought that a slight resemblance to a popular quarterback would have sparked our first conversation? I know who. 

A few months later I was offered a rare and lucrative position back home in Longview. Looking back there is no doubt God’s hand was evident every step of the way. Fast forward 3 years we are standing before God vowing to love and protect each other from this day forward. I remember that day so vividly, not just how handsome the groom was or the excitement of our upcoming nuptials; I remember seeking His presence. Hours before the ceremony Pastor Tommy, our family, and wedding party held hands and prayed over the upcoming nuptials and more importantly that God would be amidst this joyful celebration. That each person walking through the door and standing with us on stage would feel His Presence. 

In November of 2008 we found out we were expecting! No words can truly express the excitement and anticipation of what was to come. Barry was speechless when I shared the good news…it was the best Christmas present he could ever receive.  My sisters and I were ecstatic, as they too were expecting! Then early morning on Christmas Eve I was in the shower and started to bleed. I was consumed with emotions, but deep inside I knew. I realize now God has always prepared me for what was to come. We went to the emergency room and there I was poked, prodded and spread eagle for all to see. The most devastating news shared while laying helpless in a stirrup. I had a miscarriage. Thoughts came flooding in…how did this happen? What did I do wrong? And finally why Lord?  That day I felt loss and wondered how can I love someone that I’ve never held? How can I feel so strongly over someone I never laid eyes on? We went home that afternoon HEARTBROKEN and confused. That night we attended a Christmas Eve celebration at our church. I felt numb. I didn’t want to be there, but I knew we needed to be. We were greeted with congratulation after congratulation (news had recently spread we were expecting). Each word felt like a knife in the heart. I didn’t have the desire to tell them what happened. I half smiled with a nod. Our HOPE was that God would heal our hearts, he had to. 

The day after Christmas we were back at the hospital for 12 hours awaiting the birth of my niece. We watched my brother-in-law walk out introducing Zoey Grace and my broken heart was full of joy. How is that possible?  Later that night as I was telling my mom goodbye she held me and said seeing our faces when we saw Zoey surprised her. There was no bitterness, anger or envy just pure joy. She spoke this scripture over me: 

“God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered.” Deuteronomy 30:3

Later my husband shared how painful it was for him knowing just days before we lost our baby, yet he was still able to share in their joy. I knew the HEALING had begun. 

Three months later I was pregnant again, we weren’t trying and to be honest the thought scared me. What if ‘it’ happens again? Could we survive losing another? But His peace overshadowed any doubt. Beckham Michael Warren was born on December 4, 2009 and after 20 minutes of pushing my heart was completely full!  

Soon we realized how much a heart can truly hold and how faithful our God is. August 15, 2011, God blessed us with our sweet Caitlyn Elizabeth and 16 months later on December 12, 2012, our firecracker Brooklyn Abigail came into this world.

This is just a few chapters of an incredible story. Ours is no better or worse than another’s, yet I know there is a purpose. I pray He reveals what’s in my heart and that His words fill each page. I pray that as we share each heartbreak, hope and healing moment we’ve experienced that your heart is receptive to the message He has hidden underneath. And I pray that God works in ways unimaginable in the lives of each person who comes across this page.